I’ve always been a “type A” high achiever who was super conscientious about doing things correctly, partially out of principle and partially out of attempting to please EVERYBODY.
It took many years and some specific words of wisdom from a mentor of mine in my early 20s who said, “Brad, some people who are not going to like you because you’re you.”
So, I know that you may be thinking to yourself, “well duh, of course not everyone is going to like you”, and maybe I just had a gaping hole in my perception of reality up to that point. But those words floored me when I first heard them. I almost couldn’t think of anything else but that for about the first two weeks after I heard it.
I’m not sure why that was such a revelation to me, but it was.
Maybe it was because I was thrust into the role of “peacemaker” in my family growing up and was just SO oriented toward “people pleasing” as a means of psychological survival, that I had just never allowed the possibility of that reality to even enter my consciousness.
Whatever the case, that one piece of insight has resonated with me over the years and has dramatically challenged my character development and mindset AND the way I’ve subsequently constructed and developed my life and my business, particularly as an online business owner.
So in today’s video, I want to talk about the 7 factors that will help you to develop and nurture more of this kind of bulletproof mindset whether you’re:
Today I want you to walk away both inspired and equipped with some REAL data points that will encourage you to start or continue in the direction of your ultimate dreams and goals.
No matter what the endeavor, there are real obstacles both externally and just as importantly, internally that I want to help you be prepared for as you step into this kind of mindset. And make sure you stick around until the end for the most rewarding one.
For most of us getting started is rooted in perfectionism. The truth is, you have to push through FAD (fear, anxiety & doubt) and just start wherever you are. Here are some examples:
The big myth in all of this stuff is that you’re somehow, at some nebulous point in the future, going to “be ready” to get started. That day is now. Start where you are and commit to getting a little better as you go.
And we’ll continue to come back to this point as we progress through this content.
This one is rooted in a well-known phenomenon called “imposter syndrome” and I have to be honest with you, this kind of never really goes away (but it can be tamed).
Imposter syndrome is where you ask yourself questions like:
This imposter syndrome is something that almost all people deal with in one form or another and the only way to overcome it is to “just do it”, to just get started like we talked about in number 1. So just get started and you’ve begun to conquer your imposter syndrome.
This one has been a HUGE one for me most of my life and again is rooted in imposter syndrome. I always felt this sense of needing to be given permission to do just about anything in life and especially when I decided to jump into the personal finance space as well as online business. The truth is, no one but you can give you permission to pursue your goals whether those be, getting on a budget, becoming a coach, starting an online business. No, you have to give yourself permission to “just get started” like we talked about earlier and have the heart to discover people’s problems and help them solve them.
And by the way, IF you’re still looking for permission, I wholeheartedly grant it to you! :)
Just like my friend taught me at the beginning of this story, some people are just not going to like you. They’re not going to like the way you: look, talk, deal with your money, talk about the world, etc. etc. That’s actually a good thing. Why?! Because it means you stand FOR things and equally important, you stand AGAINST things. And particularly in the personal finance and online business world, polarizing viewpoints will draw more attention to you. It will draw both super fans AND extravagantly trollish haters. The tollish haters don’t matter because your message is not FOR them and you have to keep in mind that they are evidence that you’re “over the target”.
Now, if you’re multitasking I want for you to come back to me here for just a minute.
Like anything that’s worth pursuing, it’s going to be hard. Like I teach my financial coaching students who are learning the 90 day intensive process of budgeting, it’s going to take some time AND you’re totally going to feel like you’re falling forward at first. And so it is in life, right? Remember when you took your first steps (probably not)? Remember the time when you first tried to ride a bike without training wheels? Remember when you fell off the workout wagon after a solemn New Year’s Resolution promise? This life and this process are full of micro-failures that require us to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and give it another try.
This one is a little more insidious because constantly ingesting content so that you can learn a new skill FEELS like you’re actually doing something. And in a sense you are. BUT, there’s a fine line between learning the rudiments of something and the incessant perfectionism and procrastination that comes with watching one more video or taking one more course.
Remember, it’s not a bad thing to learn, just make sure it’s education disguised as procrastination and that you’re actually producing more than you’re consuming and ACTUALLY moving in the direction of your goals.
So, we’ve talked about a lot of hard things so far and I wanted to save the best one for last because it is TRULY so fulfilling once you reach your first breakthrough in any of these endeavors like:
So I’m curious, which one of these was most surprising to you? Which one do you think you’ll struggle with the most? Leave a comment below and let’s continue the discussion.
Now, if this decision process is something you struggle with and you constantly feel isolated about, I’ve got some great news for you and it’s free.
Our private Facebook group, ZeroDebtTribe. It’s a group of like minded people that are all somewhere along this P2P/debt-elimination/on their way to FI continuum. So click the image above and apply to join us. :)
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All that said, let's keep on building your financial acumen and make this your best year yet!
Thanks so much for reading and we’ll see you in the next video post!